Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just high enough for therapy.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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