it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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