there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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