is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am naked and annoyed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
