Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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