Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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