do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
