So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
