so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
ok first of all what the fuck
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
