I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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