If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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