i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
