i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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