where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
