oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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