we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
