She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
