I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
