He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
