I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
