Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize