The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
