your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You were trust falling into bushes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
