I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
