Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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