"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
