im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
