I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
