YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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