i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
