You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
