idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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