is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
