his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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