Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
