So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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