if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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