God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
