Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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