you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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