dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't put those talents on a resume
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
