I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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