saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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