I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
