Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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