he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
