It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
