Someone shit on the floor
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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