never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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