Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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