Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she told me i tasted like america
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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