u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
