I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
