U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
