Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
