I CAN MOONWALK!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
