The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
