Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
