Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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