Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
