You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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