Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
