Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
