I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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