I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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