So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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